[Me] That’s me typing.” —
Last night I had to kill a South Carolina-sized roach. It’s been a while since I’ve encountered one. You would think after years and years of seeing those disgusting things I would be used to them. Nope. I kept the lights off so I couldn’t see all of its nasty features and was screaming the whole time I attacked it with a broom. After I secured it underneath some heavy things, I turned on the light and was a little uneasy about going to sleep in the dark. I didn’t vacuum up its flatten remains until a few hours ago (had to make sure it was properly crushed).
Nothing like a good roach scare to make you paranoid about what else might show up on the walls. I’ve already scanned them about 12 times in half an hour.
While discussing how to fit an entire production team in an 8.5”x11” photo.
Client: Can’t everyone stand in the front for a while?
Me: Excuse me?
Client: Yeah, I saw that photo effect in a Harry Potter movie once. Isn’t that photoshop?
Me: No. That’s magic.
It’s amazing how many people are confused about the difference between magic and photoshop.
I made this because I desperately miss sakura and hanami.
I’m not too good at drawing things in nature, so I struggled with making the petals in the background.
When I was younger, I used to be so excited when the flowers bloomed. We had a big magnolia tree in our yard and I would pluck one and put it in my hair before I went to school. Other times, I would do the same with our azaleas. The craziest thing I did as a kid with flowers was I would go around to neighbors’ yards and take some of their flowers, make a bundle, and try to sell them to a lot of the same neighbors. I don’t think I ever made any money from that, though.
I grew out of caring about when flowers bloomed until I lived in Japan. Now, I have a better appreciation for them once again. On my daily walks, I took a couple of pictures of some of the flowers I saw about two weeks ago.
- Winston: All right, everybody stop! Whever you are, SIT DOWN. Now, Saturday is a day for sleeping and damnit, you will not take that away from me. You. Give her her scarf back. Finders keepers is not a thing. You, get out of my house.
- Girl: Who are you?
- Winston: Who am I? Who am I? Well I am Theodore K. Mullins and Nick is my lover on the downlow. Tell her Nick. Tell her how it really goes down in apartment 4D. Oh great Negro spiritual, please come down and loosen these chains on this woman. Flesh on flesh. When the lights are off, we are all the same.
- Nick: That's not true.
- Winston: Dear Lord, help me Father! Get out of my house. GET OUT OF MY HOUSE. [as girls leave]...Get out. You told Harpo to beat me. You want them over me? Over me-Dude, you're sweatin' so much, it looks like rain.
Me: (observing a girl dye a man’s hair with a friar’s cut) She’s doing a pretty good job of not staining his scalp.
Sis: It’s a cartoon.” —my sister and I watching Venture Bros.